Dear Father, I find myself in darkness and desolation, how can I free myself? I wish to offer these pains to Jesus, but when I cannot find Jesus, how can I find him? I receive no human comforts and have to support the Work without devotion. I am weary…

(Maria De Mattias, Letters vol. III, n. 668, p. 42-43)

 Dearest daughter, why are you frightened? Don’t be surprised if desolation moments are always longer and more painful, God is there and allows it for the good of your soul…Continue to face the Enemy and defeat him with the Divine Blood! Discover the deceptions the devil plots and do not fall into his suggestions (sense of abandonment); he shouts and spites, but he is powerless because Jesus has defeated him! If your soul cannot find Jesus, just stay with Jesus. Those who are in a dark room do not see the companion, but they know he is there and that is enough for them not to be afraid!

(Giovanni Merlini, Letters to Maria De Mattias, vol. I, n. 79, p. 163; n. 92, p.189)

When we are determined to accomplish something great, and say yes to God’s dream for our lives, we must prepare ourselves to go through not one but many spiritual nights. The devil, the father of lies, will often leverage the sense of inadequacy and sense of abandonment to clip our wings. So is for Maria, who expresses constant loneliness in her letters, and fatigue, dryness, with the responsibility of a blossoming Congregation and often without the emotional support she so badly needs. With paternal tenderness and decision, Don Giovanni reminds her that God is not sadistic, but is ever-present Love that allows her soul to experience darkness for growth, for freedom, for the transition from an emotional feeling to a radical choice that remains. There is only one effective way to emerge victorious from any crisis: to abide in Jesus Christ, not because one feels it, but because one chooses it; this is the foundation of a holy life.

“Nel Segno del Sangue” (In the Sign of Blood) May/June 2018